Tearless Onions—That’s Just Not Natural

Recently, scientists announced that they have developed a tearless onion. Dr. Colin Eady of New Zealand is the primary researcher. He collaborated with scientists in Japan to create this new veggie that apparently looks and smells and tastes like an onion, but doesn’t act like one. The New Zealand Herald reported this onion won’t make you cry when you chop it because it has “up to 500 times less of the irritant that induces tears.”

When you chop a regular onion, you set off a chain of chemical reactions, including the release of an enzyme which is an irritant for human eyes, and basically, makes us cry. These scientists have used something they call gene silencing. They leave alone the genes we consider “good,” in this instance, those responsible for a certain taste or a certain smell and they silence the “bad” genes, in this instance, the ones responsible for making us cry.

Wow. That’s something, and it certainly seems like a great idea in the world of science, but I am not convinced that it’s the best thing inside the kitchen.

A significant percentage of my childhood memories are set in and around the kitchen. I planted onions with my grandmother and picked them with my grandfather. I washed the dirt off them and put them in a basket on the kitchen table. Later, I loaded the extras into paper bags and carried them down the street to give away to my aunt or my great uncle or a neighbor. There was no shortage of onions.

I sliced onions for brisket at Christmas. I finely chopped onions for salsa at family reunions. I diced them to cook with green beans and new potatoes. I cut them into big chunks for beef stew. I placed clean round circle-slices on plates with cucumbers and tomatoes for lunch in the summertime.

When I first saw my mother without hair, post-breast cancer and still recovering, she was in my grandmother’s kitchen chopping onions. Once, I spoke to my grandfather about the Rwandan Genocides. I was just waking up to the world’s cruelty and realizing what political powerlessness felt like. With the melodrama apropos of a twenty-two year old, I asked my grandfather, “What are we going to do now?” And he said, “Chop the onions like your grandmother told us to.”

Maybe that last statement is more responsible than anything else for my latent onion-love. Of course, some people don’t like onions. You might be one who, for the sake of your tastes buds or a delicate stomach, is forced to make a habit of holding the onions. But the vast majority of the world consumes onions like gangbusters. It is a staple in many countries and doctors say that onions can cure what ails you. “Evidence suggests that onions may be effective against the common cold, heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and other diseases.“

Regardless of how you order your burger, the onion has been around for eons. Ok, maybe not eons. But there is reason to believe it dates back to 5000 BC. And now a few guys with Ph.D.s say they’ve made one better? Really? I just find it hard to believe. Perhaps I should be embarrassed by my lack of scientific complexity; perhaps I’m just being old-fashioned. But I am overwhelmed by a very strong sense of Don’t Mess with Mother Nature.

To me, it seems to be a whole lot for not much. I wonder how many years of research went into this new fandangled scallion: the money, the time, the testing. It’s all a bit off-putting to me. It might be a little different if the new improved onion was simply a by-product of important research being done toward some other, more noble end. But it seems that this is an end in itself, and I just don’t get it. Dr Eady said:

"What we're hoping is that we'll essentially have a lot of the nice, sweet aromas associated with onions without that associated bitter, pungent, lachrymatory factor... We have a burgeoning population to feed, and with climate change and other challenges, available resources are being reduced… They are such a versatile and nutritious vegetable, that if we can manage to get more people cooking and eating fresh onions, then that has got to be a positive outcome.”

All true. But I must say, I hardly think those truly suffering from a lack of food to eat are hesitating to choose onions because they are a pain in the ass to chop.

Is it so inconvenient to shed a tear or two? Isn’t that part of the inherent nature of an onion? Isn’t that part of life? You take the good with the bad, outside and inside the kitchen.

Comments

[Jerseygirl89]

Great metaphor for what's wrong with the world today!

[Claudia]

For some reason I am immune to onions. I love them, use them in just about everything, but they've never made me cry. UNTIL I tried a red onion. It kicked my butt. ;) I say DON'T mess with nature.

[Audrey]

You have a wonderful style of writing. I love onions. If I cut them and turn my head, I don't cry. So far, I still have all 10 fingers, it's working :)